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Lasting Relationships for Baby Boomers
You Are the Architect of Your Relationship
As A. Justin Sterling says in his book, What REALLY Works With Men, ‘…A successful relationship is an artistic creation, a symphony, a painting, or a piece of architecture that moves from vision to reality in phases. You are the architect of that relationship.’ Although Mr. Sterling is speaking to women, it really does take two to tango…
In my in-progress manuscript, The 8 Cs of Relationships, the part on Lasting Relationships only has one final ‘C’ – Cherish…
Once a couple makes a commitment to be in this relationship they need to treasure what they have; once they’ve settled into some kind of routine many people focus on what’s wrong with their partner and their relationship. It is much better if they could focus on what is working and what they truly admire and respect about their partner. No matter how busy your life gets you have to take time to nurture your partner and your relationship. You must remember all the things about your partner that you hold dear—that made you fall in love with them in the first place.
To cherish is to treat your partner gently and tenderly and not ever taking him or her for granted. It is being grateful and counting your blessings regularly for what this person and relationship bring to you.
‘David Viscott tells us: Relationships seldom die because they suddenly have no life left in them. They wither slowly, either because people do not understand how much or what kind of upkeep, time, work, love & caring they require or because people are too lazy or afraid to try. A relationship is a living thing. It needs & benefits from the same attention to detail that an artist lavishes on his art.’ ~ Leo Buscaglia, Loving Each Other
I read somewhere that the average couple spends 12 minutes a day with their partner—12 minutes! And you expect that the relationship is going to flourish on 12 minutes a day of attention? That’s the amount of time in a given day to nurture the most important relationship of your life?
The longest relationship I’ve ever had was not quite five years. Because I don’t have any experience in ‘lasting relationships,’ I asked for some input from friends in relationships that have lasted twenty years or longer.
Even though the question was ‘what’s your secret to a lasting relationship,’ many of these respondents touched on some of the foundational steps covered in my in-progress manuscript, The 8 Cs of Relationships
See their answers here
Besides these above-mentioned foundational qualities my friends shared with me, there were other qualities that were continually mentioned. (click the purple links above to read more about these qualities.)
I found this passage in Conversations With God, by Neale Donald Walsch that describes truly what I’ve been searching for all my life. To me, this describes SoulFull Relationships. (click on the purple words ‘SoulFull Relationships’ to see the conversation.) Mr. Walsch also included his own marriage vows that he wrote in Book 3. I call them SoulFull Marriage Vows and have included them here also.
Now to find a partner with enough courage to walk this path together… Time will tell.
What has been your experience of a lasting relationship? Please share your answers here.
I have written a whole chapter on Lasting Relationships in my upcoming book, The 8 Cs of Relationships.
For more information on when The 8 Cs of Relationships will be published (anticipated publication date late 2024) and where to pre-order your copy, please fill in the form here.
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