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“Empowering others to take a balanced approach to their own health and wellness by focusing on all aspects of the whole person.’

“Focusing on the whole person to maximize health and wellness for life.”

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Relationships

How Do I Love Thee/ME, let me count the ways

I believe there are many types of relationships and also that these change during various stages of life; and that as we change, we change what we are looking for, or need during these various life stages. For the most part, this section will address ‘intimate,’ ‘committed’ relationships for baby boomers.

But the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves. Without a foundation of self-love & self-respect, we have nothing to give to another.

“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow,

what you stop and what you reinforce.”

~ Tony Gaskins

As an eternal romantic, I love relationships even though I wouldn’t say I’ve ‘mastered’ them, but I’m always wiling to learn from my mistakes and try to improve in the future.

As Maya Angelou says, “When you know better, you do better…”

Old Couple on bench – young couple in Love statue

The 4 Stages of Relationships

I believe that there are 4 stages to a relationship and 8 ‘Cs’ to Relationships:

• Stage I – Casual Dating

• Stage II – Serious Dating

• Stage III – Committed Relationships

• Stage IV – Lasting Relationships

The 8 Cs of Relationships

1.   Chemistry

2.   Compatibility

3.   Communication

4.   Companionship

5.   Compassion

6.   Cooperation

7.   Commitment

8.    Cherish

I’ve actually started writing a book about these characteristics and the working title is: The 8 Cs of Relationships. If you want more information about when the book will be available please fill out this request form.

Middle-aged Couple

The most important relationship is the one with Self – all others are a reflection of that one relationship.

I once heard a personal growth facilitator give an example of relationships by bringing a woman and three men up to the front of the room and having a woman standing beside one of the men. Then the facilitator spoke about how the woman wasn’t happy with that one and asked her to move on and stand beside the second man. . .  and again, the facilitator talked about how the woman was now bored, or some other way unhappy and asked her to move on again and stand beside the third man.

This little exercise demonstrated that there was only ONE Common Denominator in all those relationships – the woman. . .

It wasn’t about blaming all the men in this example; it was about taking 100% accountability and recognizing that no one can make us happy, or miserable and that we can’t change another human being. We can only change ourselves – our actions, our perceptions and attitudes.

If relationships aren’t working as well as you would like, there’s only one person that can make a difference. YOU!

 Books on Relationships That Have Helped Me

Please click on a link to read my book review.

•  Bridge Across Forever by Richard Bach
• One by Richard Bach
• Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments by Shmuley Boteach
• God on a Harley (fiction) by Joan Brady
• An Uncommon Bond, a Novel by Jeff Brown
• How to Win at Love by Dr. Gilda Carle
• The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
• Don’t Get Lucky, Get Smart: why your love life sucks and what you can do about it by Alan Cohen
• Rising into Love by Alan Cohen
• Kama Sutra: the first unabridged modern translation of the Classic Indian Text, translated by Alain Danielou
• The Real Rules: how to find the right man for the real you by Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.
• The Rules: time-tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr. Right by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
• The Rules for Marriage: time-tested secrets for making your marriage work by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
• Mars and Venus Together Forever: relationship skills for lasting love by John Gray
• Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray
• Practical Miracles for Mars and Venus by John Gray
• Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice: hormonal balance – the key to love, life and energy by John Gray
• How to Attract Your Soul Mate: the secrets of lasting love by Barbara Gulbranson
• Peaceful Conflict Resolution by Cam Hamoline
• Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey
• Straight Talk by Steve Harvey
• Conscious Loving; Gay & Kathlyn Hendrix Ph. Ds
• Getting the Love You Want: a guide for couples by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
• The Couples Companion: meditations and exercises for getting the love you want by Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt
• The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick
• The Love Dare Day by Day by Stephen and Alex Kendrick
• The 10 Second Kiss: how to turn your relationship into a lifelong romance by Ellen Kreidman, Ph. D.
• Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts RIGHT NOW by Jaron Lanier
• Never Be Lied To Again by David J. Lieberman, PH.D.
• Soul Mates; Thomas Moore
• Tantra: the art of conscious loving; by Charles and Caroline Muir
• Emotional Infidelity: how to affair-proof your marriage and 10 other secrets to a great relationship by M. Gary Neuman
• The Truth About Cheating: why men stray and what you can do to prevent it by M. Gary Neuman
• The Mastery of Love by don Miguel Ruiz
• What Really Works with Men by A. Justin Sterling
• Calling in The One: 7 weeks to attract the love of your life, by Katherine Woodward Thomas
• Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men by Regena Thomashauer
• Love is an Everyday thing by Colleen Townsend Evans
• How to live with another person by David Viscott, M.D.
• Nature Man and Woman by Alan Watts
• A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson
• The Woo Woo by Lindsay Wong

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