Marriage

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“Focusing on the whole person to maximize health and wellness for life.”

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Marriage for Baby-Boomers

 

Although I think baby-boomers in the 21st Century are not marrying as often as in previous decades and centuries, Linda Waite, in her book, The Case for Marriage, writes that both men and women live longer, happier, healthier and wealthier lives when they are married. Unmarried co-habitation doesn’t cut it. Cohabitation does not bring the benefits – in physical health, wealth, and emotional well-being – that marriage does. And, married people have both more and better sex than do their unmarried counterparts.

Most women have known from a very young age what their vision of their ideal marriage or relationship looks like; very few men do. In order to create this ideal relationship a woman must be able to articulate with her partner exactly what she envisions. She also has to look realistically at her potential partner—does he have the right stuff to fulfill his role in her ideal relationship?

 

What do you want from your relationship that you can’t get from being single?

Author, Amy Bloom says, ‘Marriage is not a ritual or an end. It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together, and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance and your choice of partner.’

Whether you believe in a formal marriage or a common-law marriage the traditional vows of ‘in sickness and health,’ and ‘’til death do us part’ are good standards to hold yourself to. Can you really say ‘in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part’ and mean it? What about a permanent disability? Can you look at your partner and envision yourself spending the rest of your life feeding and dressing them because of some accident or injury? This is part of commitment.

What about ‘in riches and poorness’? Have you talked about money issues? Whether yours will be a one or two income family? Have you discussed issues such as budgeting, savings, investing, housing, and sharing or dividing expenses? What would you do if your partner was unable to work due to the increasing downsizing going on all over the country? Have you discussed relocating as a possibility, or would you stay put and have to maintain a long-distance relationship?

 

Thriving-Baby-Boomers - Committed Relationships - Marriage - growing as a couple

True love is about growing as a couple, learning about each other, and never giving up on each other.

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.

~Andre Maurois


 

The success of marriage comes not in finding the “right” person, but in the ability of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married.

~ John Fischer

 


 

Once the couple has made this commitment, there is no guarantee, despite a high level of compatibility and good communication skills as their foundation that the relationship will last—it needs to be nurtured on a daily basis. One needs to cherish their partner and the relationship and not allow the day-to-day grind of life to get in the way of what they have.

 


 

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.

~Joseph Joubert

 


 

Women hope men will change after marriage but they don’t; men hope women won’t change but they do.

~Bettina Arndt, Private Lives, 1986

 


 

Husbands [Marriages] are like fires.  They go out when unattended.

~Zsa Zsa Gabor

 


 

People do not marry people, not real ones anyway; they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images.  The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is. 

~James L. Framo, “Explorations in Marital & Family Therapy”

 


 

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