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Compromise in Relationships for Baby-Boomers
1 a: settlement of differences by consent reached by mutual concessions
b: something intermediate between or blending qualities of two different things
I write about higher ideals, higher visions, higher standards and higher consciousness in relationships for baby-boomers.
I’ve met so many people that feel that compromise is a dirty word – their belief that to compromise is where one wins and the other loses. I don’t believe that is so – nor necessary when one places their visions and goals on a higher plane.
1 a : settlement of differences by consent reached by mutual concessions
I think it’s easier to make concessions of one’s ego-based wants, needs and desires when they acknowledge and place the relationship in a place of honour – to recognize that the relationship is an entity unto itself and has its own wants, needs and desires in order to grow and flourish.
Like the above-mentioned definition of compromise, it entails consent and mutual concessions. Mutual is used to describe a situation, feeling or action that is of interest, experienced, felt or done by both parties. Consent is that which is agreed upon by, in this case, both parties involved.
For example, say one partner wants to watch sports with their partner and the other partner wants to go shopping with their friends. What should they do?
On one level, one partner wants ‘bonding time’ with their partner, where the other partner wants ‘space’ from their partner. What does the relationship need?
Only the individuals in this relationship can answer this question, for each relationship will have different ‘needs’ at different times.
b : something intermediate between or blending qualities of two different things
Using the above-mentioned example, is there something ‘in between’ the couple can agree on? Can they sit and watch the game on TV for a little while and delay the shopping with friends for later in the day, or even another day? Can they find someone else to watch the game rather than their partner?
What is the quality that the partners are looking to fulfill in the above-mentioned scenario? Is it bonding? Connection? Alone time? Space in their togetherness?
Only deeply aware individuals will dig deep to understand and communicate their deeper desires in this relationship.
A Common Objective
In my mind, the common objective of the relationship is to demonstrate Love and respect for Self and the Other. To create a safe and loving environment for the individuals to grow into their highest Self.
Like cooperation, the ability and willingness to compromise are very important for a happy, long-lasting relationship. Both parties have to be on the same page as far as their vision of the relationship is concerned. Again, this is another area that needs considerable discussion during the serious dating stage before one makes a decision to get into a long-term relationship.
Compromise ISN’T a dirty word
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