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“Focusing on the whole person to maximize health and wellness for life.”

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Commitment for Baby-Boomers

Commitment

[L. committo, to make over in trust, to set to work…] ‘to give in trust; to put into charge of or keeping; to entrust; to surrender; give up…’ with to; refl. ‘to bind to a certain line of conduct, or…a decision which cannot be recalled; to compromise’

To make a commitment is to bind oneself to a certain code of conduct such as monogamy and faithfulness, to consider another’s feelings, wants, needs and desires when making plans and decisions to care for and treat another human being tender and lovingly.

To truly make a commitment, is to have NO Escape routes – divorce, or separation is not an option, (unless there’s abuse – then all bets are off.) To make a commitment is to agree that this is a binding decision—no turning back when the going gets too tough.  As A. Justin Sterling in his book, What REALLY Works With Men, ‘divorce…is just a euphemism for “quitting.”’

Points to consider

As with all stages of relationships, each individual must know what they want out of life and out of a relationship. How will being in that relationship help them meet their physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial and sexual needs?

Is your potential partner on the same page as far as values, morals, and direction of the future are concerned?

Can you talk to your partner about a myriad of topics? Does this person make you think? Make you laugh? Can you enjoy long periods of silence without feeling like the other is giving you the silent treatment?

What Does A ‘Committed Relationship’ Look Like To YOU?

Whether you believe in a formal marriage or a common-law marriage the traditional vows of ‘in sickness and health,’ and ‘’til death do us part’ are good standards to hold yourself to.

Can you really say ‘in sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part’ and mean it?

What about a permanent disability? Can you look at your partner and envision yourself spending the rest of your life feeding and dressing them because of some accident or injury? This is part of the commitment.

What about ‘in riches and poorness’?

Have you talked about money issues?

Whether yours will be a one or two-income family?

Have you discussed issues such as savings, investing, housing, etc.?

What would you do if your partner was unable to work due to the increasing downsizing going on all over the country?

Have you discussed relocating as a possibility, or would you stay put and have to maintain a long-distance relationship?

A list of what A Soul mate relationship is…

People do not marry people, not real ones anyway;

they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images. 

The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is.

~James L. Framo, “Explorations in Marital & Family Therapy”

Just as a building needs support on the four corners, so too does a relationship; the four corners of a relationship should be Spirit/Soul, self, partner, and others. Each couple and the individuals will have to discuss and decide on how much togetherness they desire and need in their relationship.

When marrying, ask yourself this question:

Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

I have written a whole chapter on Chemistry in my upcoming book, The 8 Cs of Relationships.

For more information on when The 8 Cs of Relationships will be published (anticipated publication date late 2023) and where to pre-order your copy, please fill in the form here.

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