Sexual Compatibility

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Sexual Compatibility for Baby-Boomers

I’m a firm believer that relationships, for all ages, work best when there’s a high level of compatibility with one’s partner – including sexual compatibility for Baby-Boomers.

According to Psychology Today, “Perceived sexual compatibility is defined as the extent to which a couple perceives they share sexual beliefs, preferences, desires, and needs with their partner. Another form of sexual compatibility is the extent to which similarities exist between actual turn-ons and turn-offs for each partner emotionally, cognitively, and behaviorally.

The article points out that “Perceiving sexual compatibility with a partner has been shown to be related to sexual satisfaction, such that the more sexually compatible you are, the more sexually satisfied you are. And researchers have consistently found that sexual satisfaction is also significantly positively related to relationship satisfaction; when one increases (or decreases), the other tends to follow.”

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Lovers silhouetted at sunset

(Image Credit – MaDaily Life)

It’s very difficult to develop intimacy and closeness in a relationship without regular sexual activity. A couple tends to bond, connect and release tension through sex. The frequency of sex is best discussed and negotiated between the couple early in their relationship. Even discussing one’s sex drive during the casual dating period is a good way to determine sexual compatibility – along with all the other areas of compatibility.

Cybersuitors, an online dating site, matches people based on the CQ (Compatibility Quotient). Their findings show in particular that sharing similar views on five different subjects is critical to the marital happiness of both genders. These five which apply equally to both men and women require them to have similar views on:

  • sexual fidelity and
  • sex drive;
  • their preferred type of relationship;
  • personality style; and
  • their taste for foreign food;

There are certain aspects of one’s basic nature that can’t be changed easily, such as personality style; intellect; sex drive; spirituality; morals, values and character; and dominant senses. Because these aspects of one’s basic nature are relatively stable and unchangeable over time, these things need to be known, looked at and discussed as part of the casual dating (the selection and elimination) process in order to wisely choose your partner.

Although there will be times in your relationship where one or the other partner isn’t interested in sex, due to work, illness, or other issues, generally speaking, being equally matched in your beliefs, preferences, desires, needs and sex drive will produce a much more pleasing and satisfying relationship.

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