Intimacy and Casual Dating
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Intimacy and Casual Dating
By spending time in companionship through many situations and activities Baby-Boomers can develop an intimacy with their potential partner.
Many people, including Baby-Boomers, get into a relationship with the ‘wrong’ person by default.
People start casually dating and make an emotional commitment long before they have enough information about their partner to know if there is enough stuff to build a solid foundation for their potential relationship to withstand any challenges that will inevitably come along.
There are many stages of intimacy and relationships; most people rush through all these stages: casual dating, serious dating, making a commitment, and having a lasting relationship so fast that they don’t even recognize that they are separate and individual stages of intimacy. Each stage has a purpose towards learning about one another and developing greater intimacy between the couple. To rush through these stages without allowing the process the necessary time to unfold and learn what one needs to know in order to make a realistic and accurate assessment about their potential partner is the biggest error people make in developing relationships. See my essays on these different stages of intimacy and relationships in the purple links above.
Intimacy is allowing one in-to-see our deepest, darkest places where we reveal our secrets; our hopes; our dreams; our fears; our ‘real’ self.
One has to find a safe place with another to trust that their secrets and vulnerabilities won’t be betrayed or used against them.
Intimacy is a state of baring one’s inmost self in friendship; this takes time—lots of time. There is no way to rush intimacy. Yet, most couples spend a few dates, maybe a few weeks getting to know one another and make a heartfelt commitment without knowing if they are truly compatible—the necessary ingredient for a happy, long-lasting union.
There are many areas of one’s personality that one needs to know and share with their potential partner in order for each to really get to know one another. One’s Personality, Emotional style, Intellect, Sexuality, Spirituality, basic character, morals, values and beliefs are pretty much unchangeable. To make the best relationships there needs to be a high level of compatibility in several of these areas. Click on the purple links above to see my essays on these topics.
Intimacy develops and evolves from an emotional place first by sharing details of one’s life: their hopes and dreams and fears. What hurts their feelings or their Soul? What brings them great joy?
Intimacy gradually develops into friendship and platonic love in the early, casual dating stage. (See my essay on Casual Dating by clicking here.)
Intimacy develops over time. It can’t happen over night – no matter how long that first ‘intimate’ conversation was!
It’s been my experience and observation that many couples dive right into a committed relationship before they’ve spent time with one another in many different situations: public and private; holidays and every day; stressful events and happy events; casual and formal events to really evaluate their level of compatibility in many areas: physical, mental, emotional, personality, sexuality, spirituality and even financially.
I just found this song by Katy Perry called Into Me You See on YouTube. I have no opinion about Katy Perry one way or another; I just found the song appropriate to this essay.
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