Hospitality

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Hospitality as Companionship

A couple who is getting to know one another through casual dating and participating in many activities of companionship – they are generally deepening their intimacy and friendship. See my essay on Casual Dating.

A couple has many experiences throughout the dating process to discover areas of compatibility, communication styles and difficulties, and whether there is enough in common to move forward into more serious dating and a lasting relationship. See my essays on Compatibility, Communication, Companionship, Serious Dating & Lasting Relationships.

As the couple experiences comradery through festivities and social activities they deepen their level of familiarity and intimacy.

Through these various activities, one can observe your partner in order to see how they prepare themselves and react to hosting and providing hospitality in different situations.

According to Wikipedia, hospitality refers to the relationship between a guest and a host, wherein the host receives the guest with goodwill, including the reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.

• Does your potential partner function better by hosting small informal gatherings with close friends than larger formal settings with strangers? How can you support your partner in these various situations?
• Does your partner maintain a calm demeanour in preparation for hosting festivities and/or social situations, or do they become agitated, emotional or angry?
• Do they maintain a constant level of emotional expression before, during and after an event or do their personality and/or behaviour change with the circumstances?
• Does your potential partner help with the preparation of the festivities, or do they leave it all up to you?
• Does your partner greet the guests in a warm and friendly manner and help break the ice amongst guests that may not be familiar with one another?
• Does your partner, or potential partner treat guests, strangers, or service providers (bank tellers, waiters or waitresses) in a friendly, warm, or cordial manner, or do they treat people differently depending on the person’s perceived social status?

Hospitality is not about inviting people into our perfect homes; it is all about inviting people into our imperfect hearts.

(Source Living Well Spending Less)

Is your partner warm and friendly; sincere and polite in most circumstances? Are they consistent over time? Is there stability in how they act over the weeks, months, or years in your relationship? Or are they more like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?

Watch for red flags. But also notice all the good ways your potential partner treats others: their parents and siblings, servers, strangers as well as friends.

How one treats others is generally a reflection of how they potentially will treat you.

All of these points should be observed and considered during the casual dating stage whether one feels emotionally, psychologically or physically safe before deciding to move on to more serious dating or making a commitment to a lasting relationship.

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