Trust

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“Focusing on the whole person to maximize health and wellness for life.”

 

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Trust for Baby-Boomers

 

Trust is a very fragile gift one gives to another. Trust is earned it is not a right.

Developing Trust

 

As the picture below says, “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.”

 

Trust takes years to build; seconds to break; and forever to repair.

Trust takes years to build; seconds to break; and forever to repair.

(photo credit)

 

I used to be, and still am – to some degree, a very trusting person. I tend to believe in the intrinsic goodness of people until they prove otherwise, but that doesn’t mean I’m a fool or a pushover. I listen to my gut and honour my instincts!!

Despite being abused – physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually during my formative years, I have been able to overcome most fears around being hurt or abused. It wasn’t an easy process. I was probably pretty wary of new people until in my early thirties

I was not trusted by my step-mother growing up, none of us kids were really, so that in turn sends a message that one is not trustworthy. Which doesn’t lend itself to have confidence in one’s own abilities, or to create a high level of self-esteem.

It is only through repetitive successes – LOTS of successes, and acknowledging my successes that I’ve gained a degree of confidence in my capabilities. And it is only through acknowledging who in my circle of friends that are truly honest – which is most of them.

 

Breaking Trust

 

There was a time in the mid-eighties that I was deeply betrayed by my partner and my best friend. That was a hard time for me! I lost all faith and confidence in pretty much everybody for a few years. I built a huge wall around me that was a challenge for me to tear down once my healing process was complete. Out of that experience though, I grew a backbone and called a spade a spade and re-enforced my ability to honor my intrinsic instincts.

I have an older acquaintance who’s lived a rough life on or near the streets back in the sixties and seventies. I hadn’t heard from him is a few years and I had a manuscript of his life story that he’d wanted me to edit which I didn’t feel there was enough material there to write a book, so I tracked him down to return it to him. We met at a local coffee shop and had brunch. He was telling me about his travels and where he’d been and my gut and mind said he was full of BS. I never called him on it – to me it wasn’t worth my effort. I don’t plan on having him in my life anymore anyway.

 

Repairing Trust

 

I’m not really too sure that I could ever really have faith or confidence in someone who has betrayed me. Even though these former-friends did attempt to apologize for their behaviour, I never resumed any relationship with them after that.

 

The Nature of Trust - honesty and integrity; meeting your obligations; openness in communication; keeping your promises

The Nature of Trust – honesty and integrity; meeting your obligations; openness in communication; keeping your promises

(Photo credit – Trust is the best way for value: learn and act by Evidencesx)

 

In the beginning of a friendship, or relationship I tend to keep people at arm’s length until I get comfortable with them. I listen to their words, watch their body language, and over time, see if their words and behaviours are consistent.

Now, however, if someone wants to be, and I want them to be in my life – that’s a different story. We will have to find a way to communicate with honesty in order for me to ever be able to share any of my deeper hopes, dreams, secrets, and fears or anything of value in my home with them.

 

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