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Cherish for Baby-Boomers
The following is an excerpt from chapter 8 called Cherish of my in-progress manuscript, The 8 Cs of Relationships. (publication date target 2021)
Once the couple has made this commitment, there is no guarantee, despite a high level of compatibility and good communication skills as their foundation that the relationship will last—it needs to be nurtured on a daily basis. One needs to cherish their partner and the relationship and not allow the day-to-day grind of life to get in the way of what they have.
‘to hold dear, to treat with tenderness and affection; to take care of; to foster; to hold as dear; to indulge and encourage in the mind’
“Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.”
~ I Corinthians 13:4-8
To cherish is to treat your partner gently and tenderly and not ever taking him or her for granted. It is being grateful and counting your blessings regularly for what this person and relationship brings to you.
“affair-proofing” your marriage is simply to make sure a couple spends some time on a weekly basis having a meaningful conversation.
I just read somewhere that the average couple spends 12 minutes a day with their partner—12 minutes! And you expect that the relationship is going to flourish on 12 minutes a day of attention?
In her book, Affair-Proof Your Marriage, Lana Staheli, Ph.D., says, “The more a couple knows each other, the better off they are,” she says. “If you strengthen the bond between the couple, there is not so much temptation to look elsewhere.”
“Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up.”
~ Joseph Barth
Rabbi Pliskin in his book, Marriage, suggests that you write a list of ways that you have benefited from being married to your spouse. Then write a list of your spouse’s positive patterns and qualities. Keep adding to the lists and reread them frequently.
The Beauty of Love
The question is asked, “Is there anything more beautiful in life than a young couple clasping hands and pure hearts in the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?”
And the answer is given. “Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path.
Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant; their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. Old love.”
Love is seeking to act for the other person’s highest good.
~ Jerry Cook
Diane Sollee, MSW, founder and director of Smart Marriages, writes, “A soulmate marriage does not at all mean that you have found someone you match up with on all the cards – on all the issues, on everything. That would be the most deadly dull thing to even imagine. Instead, it means you’re with someone that wants to take care of your soul – they want to make sure your soul continues to grow; they don’t ever want to blow out that little light inside you. And you feel the same way about them.
I have written a whole chapter on Cherish in my upcoming book, The 8 Cs of Relationships.
For more information on when The 8 Cs of Relationships will be published (anticipated publication date late 2023) and where to pre-order your copy, please fill in the form here.
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